Kappa Mikey will be right back. Yes-Man thought Guano was a hamster again.
*muffled screams from Guano*
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Some guy is walking around a roomful of colorful cubicles.
Guy1: Hey, Phil, it's time to go home for the day.
The guy the first guy was talking to turns around to reveal a guy in an Invader Zim costume.
Ding!
Caption: Phil McCracken: Foley Artist/ Invader Zim fan.
Phil: PATHETIC HUMAN!! PREPARE TO FACE MY ALIEN WRATH...i....ness. Or someTHIIIIIING!!!
Phil murders Guy 1 with an ax.
Phil: AAA-HAHAHAHAHAHA!! VICTORY!! Victory for the great Irken forces! Kneel before me, humans! Kneel or suffer the same ketchup-soaked fate as this other animation-slave!! AA-HAHAHAHAHAHA-
Cops tackle and violently arrest Phil.
Nicktoons Network: We REALLY get into character.
Phil is sitting in the electric chair.
Phil: Your primitive chair of electricity cannot harm a might Irken warriorAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!
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In merely seven months, be sure to catch the newest SpongeBob Squarepants special thats no different from any other episode but ratings are lagging so we call it a special, SpongeBoobs Squarepenis! SpongeBob has finally come of age, and now he wants some goddamn ass! But who from!? Will it be Sandy?
Sandy: Well, go-o-OOO-LY, SpongeBob! I didn't know ya'll sponges had eight balls!
SpongeBob: Hey! Less Southern twang, more suckin' wang, bitch.
Pearl?
Pearl: GOSH, SpongeBob, daddy's gonna be mad if he finds out you're boning me.
SpongeBob: Are you kiddin', he's filming it!
Mr. Krabs: And I'm savin' five bucks by doin' it meself! I have to witness me own daughter being sodomized by me employee, but five bucks is five bucks!
*Krabs goes off-camera, but the camera follows him and catches him jacking off on a twenty, then tickling his own asshole before realizing he's being filmed. Krabs then shrugs and resumes jacking off and fingering himself anally on a twenty dollar bill*
Or will it be someone the parents groups REALLY don't wanna see him have sex with?
Patrick: Hey, SpongeBob, I think I have some kinda hot dog magnet up my butt! But the hot dog can't decide whether it wants to stay in or outta me! And now it's spitting out soup!
Or...
Squidward: Zzzzz.wh...HUH!? *spitting* SPONGEBOB, WHAT WAS THAT DOING IN MY MOUTH!!? If you wanted to fuck my mouth, all you had to do was ask!
Patrick, from under Squidward's covers: Hi, SpongeBob!
Squidward: Hey! Less mindless cluckin', more ball-suckin', bitch!
Or will he just fuck his Krabby Patty again, like usual.
*SpongeBob humps a Krabby Patty between the bun and meat for ten whole minutes*
That's SpongeBoob Squarepenis. Premiers nowhere near today, making advertising it now ridiculous. And be sure to check out the Burger King promotional toys! Strippin' Sandy, Patrick with realistic anus-reaming action, and a shit load of "different" variations on SpongeBob. Collect all 72 different orifice-fucking variations!
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New guy: I heard they found all sortsa heads in Phil's freezer when they raided his house.
New guy 2: Man, I wish I had a lighter on me so I could blaze this bad boy up.
A third guy jumps in and starts doing Power Rangers-esque mock kung-fu.
Caption: Jimmy Ballslap: Legal Department/ Guy who says "I'm Rick James, bitch" way too much/ Avatar fan
Jimmy Ballslap: I can light your blunt with my wicked fresh mad fire-bending skillz!! KEE-YAAA!!
Jimmy flails around, making a lot of sounds of great effort where they shouldn't be.
New guy: Get the fuck outta here, ya fruit!
Jimmy Ballslap: Ok...*sigh*
Nicktoons Network: We REALLY get into character.
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Then there's a little thing where there's a washing machine and this thing where....you know those electro balls that you grab them and it makes your hair stand up? Its like one of those with tentacles. Anyway, they move a little and I think its like a fight? And then the washing machine spins the electro thing and it flies away and takes a shit on the washing machine or something.
Yippee.
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Someone else is walking through the room of colorful cubicles.
New guy: Oh my God, they found pictures of Phil fucking his neighbor's ca---Oh, hey, Gail. How's it...OH MY GOD, YOU SHIT YOUR PANTS AGAIN!?!
Ding!
Caption: Gail Larson: Color coordinator/ Rugrats fan
Nicktoons Network. We REALLY get into character.
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Dark, smoky room and ominous music. Camera slowly zooms in on somebody sitting on their couch with their head slumped back. There's blood all over the wall behind them and they're holding a gun. It's obvious this person has just shot himself.
Ding!
Caption: Samuel Rimjob: Guy who follows other more important people around with clipboards/ AAHH!! Real Monsters fan.
Nicktoons Network: ....Jesus....
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Now back Kappa Mikey, another decent show we cancelled to squeeze in more reruns of The Wild Thornberries. The Wild fucking Thornberries, I ask you!? |