As you stand there completely stunned, moves to the refrigerator. You two do not keep much in there, so it takes her little time to find what she is looking for. She reaches down to the bottom shelf and grabs a beer. She stares at you with a sad look on her face. For the first time in your seven-year friendship, you have no idea how to console her.
“I’m in the mood to stay in and get drunk! You want one?” She says to you as she opens her beer and takes a swig that drains about a third of the bottle. You just nod.
She tosses you an unopened bottle, and you follow her lead. The beer is cold and refreshing, but you don’t care about that. You want to help your friend, but you are not sure how.
“What…What happened?” You ask her, hoping she doesn’t lash out at you again.
“Keith broke it off with me tonight. When I spoke to him on the phone a few hours ago, he said he had a special surprise for me and told me to meet him at Chez Joshephine. I figured he was going to propose to me tonight, hence the fancy clothes, which are ruined now. I show up, and there he is with some blond bimbo with a short skirt and barely visible blouse on. I ask him what’s going on and he says ‘I’ve found a woman that we can finally have a threesome with!’ I was like ‘As if! My tongue ain’t going anywhere near this bitch’s gash. I’ve told you I’m not into that kind of shit’” She starts crying again as she finishes. You rush to her side. By the time it takes you to get to her, she finishes her beer.
“Then what happened?” You don’t want to ask her, but she’s the type that starts to feel better once she gets things off her chest.
“He fucking comes out with ‘Well, what kind of wife are you going to be, if you don’t give into my needs? I’ve been wanting a threesome for several months now, and you keep shutting me down. Who needs you?’ I was ready to kill him, but then the bimbo started laughing at me, so I gave her a shot instead. She spilled a $200 glass of wine on Keith’s suit, and I just stormed out. My car wouldn’t start, and I couldn’t get a cab.” She opens a second beer and starts to drink.
“Why didn’t you call me? I would have come and got you.” You say.
“Thanks but I wasn’t planning on coming home right away. I was half way to Murray’s when the fucking rain started. I didn’t want to walk in to that bar looking like this, so I came home.” She starts to cry again. You reach up to hug her.
“So what do you want to do now?” You ask her.
“Get drunk, and go to sleep.” Is all she says.
“I’ll drink to that!” You say as you take a swig.
“You’re damn right you will!” says as she tips your bottle up to force you to finish your beer. “I’m already on number two, you need to catch up!”
“If we’re going to get plastered tonight, we need to eat something. You want a pizza?” You ask.
“Sure, chicken and pineapple!” She tells you as you both finish your second brew. You each down one more beer before the pizza arrives.
The delivery boy looks to be about eighteen and has a face full of acne. When you open the door, the first thing he notices is sitting on the floor with her legs spread out. He gets a full view of her legs. He lets out a sigh when his eyes hit her crotch. It doesn’t take you long to figure out what he is looking at.
“So how much do I owe you?” You ask angrily.
“Uhh…That will be…uhh, fourteen fifty sir!” He tells you. You hand him exact change and send him on his way. He rubs his fingers together, looking for a tip.
“You already got your tip, now scram!” He looks dejected and tries to get one last peek up ’s skirt. You slam the door in his face. You can here him cursing as he storms down the hallway. just looks at you, not fully understanding the situation.
“You gave him a pretty good show, so I figured we didn’t owe him a tip!” You say.
“He probably would have given us the damn pie for free if you let him look a little longer.” She giggles.
“That poor kid would have blown a wad if we did that!” You add as takes a slice from the box. You grab two more beers from the fridge. You open both of them as you sit on the floor. She hands you a slice as you hand her next round.
“Hmmm, thish ish goot!” You say as you burn your lip on the hot cheese. You wash your first bite down with half a beer.
It takes the two of you about an hour to eat the pizza. In that time you have both had about seven or eight beers, and neither one of you is in the mood to stop.
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