You reach behind you and grab both of the owls talons and flip him upside down.
"What the zip?!?" squawks the stupid bird.
"Goblin, I know from the lore that you hunger, but I will not make any kind of meal that will satiate you. On the other hand if you feast on this bird you will find yourself restored, what do you say?" you ask as you shake the stupid bird around.
"Squawk, squawk! Betrayal! Save me! Snake-People look over here! Jamie! I hope you burn in hell!" Screeches the bird.
The Badger-Goblin seems interested and it climbs down to the ground at your feet. You catch a whiff and it smells like fucking garbage, but you are trying to make a friend here.
You spin the owl around a few times to make it dizzy and then drop it on the ground and take a step back.
The Dire Badger Pounces and bites carelessly into the bird who screams bloody murder. Then the Badger's eyes go wide, it pins down one of the owls wings with a fore-claw and disembowels it with the other.
You remember the squad of snake-people across the underground-river and kneel down. Foxy trots over to you nuzzling you and whispering in your ear,
"You did it Jamie! A goblin negotiation on your very first try!" She breathed hotly as she panted, "I have never even heard of anyone negotiating with a dire before, they probably shat themselves instead! By the Gods, Jamie, you are a real man, Fucking fuck me, breed your foxy little slut! Gods, Jamie, I want that bad-boy-cock in all my tight holes mmmm uuuuu >lick, lick, lick<"
The owl was slowly torn to pieces and devoured, her husband was finally gone and Foxy was going into heat over it.
"<Scarf, scarf, scarf, gulp> 'ow did ya' do that boy? Dat was on 'ell o' ah chicken dinna', never scrabbled anything better into these ol' chops'. I... I haven't spoke or had a coherent thought in decades... what world are we on?" the Badger questioned in a strange European accent.
"We are on Earth, in Atlantis, underground, below a forest." You answer quickly.
The badger seems to look around and then raise its snout to try and catch a reliable sniff.
"You a seeker then?" it asked in a slow, patient drone.
"Of course!" You reply.
"Well, that's alright then. Look, you seem like ah profitable fellow to socialize with, so lets do this then, I will serve you up to seven times. After that, I will most likely feast on your entrails, but, anyway, nice to meet you and all," it seemed to conclude and then it started walking around in circles, absentmindedly humming to itself.
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