"Come on, Honey Tits, you know good old Barry, don't'cha?" a good 'ole boy voice with a southern accent drawls in good humor.
"Oh,uh, Barry! Sorry, I didn't see the call display."
"Didn't hear the ringtone either?" he asks wryly.
"I was in the shower," you lie, wondering who this bastard is and why he's calling YOUR Janine Honey Tits. You've never called her that. You only got to call her Honey.
"Clean is nice, but dirty is better," he says with a chuckle. Before you can say anything to that he continues. "So we got here and set things up, and then people started to trickle in. You know them, slow lazy bastards. You have to tell them a time that's an hour early to get them in on time. Except you. You're always on time."
"On... Wait, was I supposed to..."
"Be here an hour ago? Sure thing, Honey Buns," he says. What's with this guy and honey? "See, normally you're the one that we rely on. Normally you're the one we tell the time to and you get here when you're supposed to without any of our trickery. Then today comes and I get to wondering if maybe you're slipping, going down that road some of the other girls go down. Sniff sniff, y'know?"
Screwing up your face in confusion you try to make sense of his words, letting silence settle between the two of you before you start to speak. "Look, uh, Barry..."
"Fuck that, Honey Lips, we'll talk when you get down here. The bees are a'buzzin' y'know?"
"Bees...? Uh, where?"
Barry sighs, the amusement long gone. "You've been getting more difficult lately, my little Honey Sucker. I've been telling myself you'll come around, but you just get more and more reluctant. You're not getting any younger, y'know?"
"I... I know. I swear, I'll give it my all. I just lost the address is all. And there was this... well nevermind, just give me the address and I'll get there right away."
"Time is money, Honey, so bring your pollen on down quickly, you hear?" he says, and rattles off an address.
"Crap," you say to yourself after hanging up, sticking the cell into her purse. "What the hell was that about?"
Staring at the wall tells you nothing, and your mind is too busy going round and round to make any sense of it. All those 'Honey' remarks, and the bees, and the revelation that maybe Janine does do something with her days has you too dazed to do more than head to the closet in the bedroom.
You dress without thought, pulling on a sundress and then realizing you hadn't put on anything beneath. Eyeing her underwear you pull out a pair of panties with a grimace. You'd rather go with male clothes, but when in Rome.
Hiking up the dress you tug up the panties, feeling strange not having to adjust a dick. You twist around a little and faced with choosing between a bra and no bra decide that they don't really jiggle enough to subject yourself to that particular horror. Besides, you've always wanted to have Janine go around bra-less, so in a twisted way you're finally getting your wish.
After a brief look through her shoes you select the lowest pair you can find that won't look ridiculous with the dress, and walk out to the front door, retreating to pick up her purse after you nearly leave without it. |