I had just resolved myself to seducing this young man, when I heard the familiar chatter of "tattattat" and PwowPwowPwow" of the M16 vs the AK 47. I held my breath and waited for what seemed forever, before I heard the "Pwow" more times that the "tatt".
"Safi, you have to run." I said, my heart racing.
"Wha, Why?" he asked.
"Because if you don't their will be no one to tell the Marines where they took me!" I said, a tear forming in my eye. He gritted his teeth, and looked hard at the M4 leaning against the table.
"No. That isn't the way. Hide, Safi. Hide, and tell them what you see." I said. "Listen. Try and find where they are going to take me. But you MUST hide!" I said as loudly as a harsh whisper can still be considered a whisper.
He looked at me, and I could see the mixed emotions on his face. I love the Arabs for that. They don't know how to hide emotions like us Westerners do. I wished I could snap a picture. "Arab photographer reacts to reporter's gangbang". I tried to chuckle, but then a mortar landed and ripped a massive hole in the tent roof.
"Go, Safi. Its the only way." i said. He punched the ground, and rolled out from under tent seconds before they ripped it open.
"Doctors Without Borders!" I yelled. Four armed men entered my room. I could smell the cordite from their recently fired AK's. They all wore turbans and had blazingly intense eyes as they saw me.
I desperately hoped that Safi was running at top speed away from this as I felt the first one's hand on my shoulder. "Doctor?" he said. I looked up, and nodded. "Doctor...woman?!" he said, and laughed. I heard more AK 47 fire, and prayed it wasn't Safi being gunned down.
"Yes." I said, and they laughed even harder. "Nurse!" one said. I looked over at him. He wore a shemagh over his face and was brandishing a submachine gun. I drew myself up, and spat in Russian.
"Filthy Swine. I train you when you are little. I infilitrate Christian Oppressive Government in America to double cross, and this is how you repay me?!"
The hand left my shoulder.
"Spetznaz?" he said. I shook my head.
"KGB."
He looked down at me, and waved the others off. "My Russian is bad. Good English?" he said. I nodded. He smirked, and shrugged.
"Why didn't you say so?" he said with a terrible Brooklyn accent that got the other kidnappers in stitches. "You come. We talk more. You guys. No bullshit." he said.
Within 5 minutes, I was lead out of the tent to see the outpost in flames, and loaded onto an SUV. "Where are we going?" I asked with a Russian accent. The leader chuckled.
"To Disneyland!"
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