“What now?,” Nurse Ratched blurted as Chris and Bill led Tom into the nurse’s office. Ok, her real name wasn’t “Nurse Ratched”, but she certainly reminded Tom of the nurse from "One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest". She was a true battle axe, with absolutely no proper bedside mannerisms, and definitely served her purpose as a deterrent from students faking illness in order to lie low in the infirmary so as to avoid a class they weren't prepared for. It was better to face the anxiety of class then to face Nurse Ratched. No one ever wanted to deal with her unless it was an absolute emergency.
Over the year’s Tom had seen dozens of movies and television shows in which the school nurse was always hot. In fact, nurses and doctors, school or otherwise, were always amazingly hot on the screen. He had often fantasized about being brought to the infirmary and being treated by someone like Dr. Remy Hadley, a character on the TV show “House” played by model/actress Olivia Wilde. “House” was one of Tom’s favorite shows on TV and he never missed an episode. Olivia Wilde was half the attraction for him as she was definitely hot as hell. Nurse Ratched was no Dr. Hadley. He had somehow managed to end up in a school that had hired the direct opposite of every teenage boy’s medical fantasy.
Anyway, none of that was relevant right now as Tom’s entire world was slowly falling apart. He was now losing his mind and unfortunately it would be up to ol’ Nurse Ratched to deal with him.
“Something’s wrong with Tom,” Chris began in response to the nurse’s initial inquiry. “We’re not sure what’s wrong, but he was late to his morning makeout session with Sheila Foster this morning...” Bill continued. “Yes, so I heard,” Nurse Ratched interrupted with a look of disgust on her face. “....And then after math he nearly passed out, telling us that he thought he was losing his mind,” Chris concluded.
“Well, I don’t have time to deal with this type of nonsense -- losing his mind indeed !” Nurse Ratched grumbled as she quickly scribbled some notes on two pieces of paper, “Here are your late passes,” she said handing one to Chris and Bill respectively. “Like I said, I don’t have time for this type of nonsense, kids will try anything these days to get out of class, but being late for morning makeout is a serious offense, so I better have Dr. Hadley check him out. Now you two get to class, I’ll take it from here.”
*Dr. Hadley?,* was the last thought Tom managed as he captured a glance of a photograph of Olivia Wilde hanging on the wall. She was standing on a beach, dressed in nothing but a white bikini with an Asclepius staff painted in red over the right breast. The words: "Dr. Remy Hadley - School M.D." were bronzed onto a plaque below the image.
Tom then proceeded to finally give into the insanity of the day and fainted into darkness. |